Listening better is key to collaborating better
I like the self-help article summaries that Harvard Business Review posts on Twitter. The accompanying images are also brilliant.
Listening better is key to collaborating better. Here’s how from the article Cracking the Code of Sustained Collaboration:
* Ask expansive questions - Instead of saying to someone “Did you try asking others who’ve worked on similar projects for advice?”, ask “In what ways have you reached out to others for advice?”
* Focus on the listener, not yourself - We fail to listen because we’re anxious about our own performance. Be generous in acknowledging the points of others. Practice “active listening” -suppress the urge to interrupt or dominate a conversation, make it about yourself, or solve your conversation partners’ problems, and instead concentrating on the implications of their words.
* Engage in self-checks of their own tendencies - hearing someone’s words is not enough; you also need to take in the speaker’s tone, body language, emotions, and perspective, and the energy in the conversation. To ensure that you’re building on someone’s idea, say “Yes, and…” rather than “Yes, but…”. When we communicate with others, psychological research shows, we are often too indirect and abstract. Our words would carry more weight if we were more concrete and provided vivid images of goals.
* Become comfortable with silence - This doesn’t mean just not speaking; it means communicating attentiveness and respect while you’re silent.
* Ask expansive questions - Instead of saying to someone “Did you try asking others who’ve worked on similar projects for advice?”, ask “In what ways have you reached out to others for advice?”
* Focus on the listener, not yourself - We fail to listen because we’re anxious about our own performance. Be generous in acknowledging the points of others. Practice “active listening” -suppress the urge to interrupt or dominate a conversation, make it about yourself, or solve your conversation partners’ problems, and instead concentrating on the implications of their words.
* Engage in self-checks of their own tendencies - hearing someone’s words is not enough; you also need to take in the speaker’s tone, body language, emotions, and perspective, and the energy in the conversation. To ensure that you’re building on someone’s idea, say “Yes, and…” rather than “Yes, but…”. When we communicate with others, psychological research shows, we are often too indirect and abstract. Our words would carry more weight if we were more concrete and provided vivid images of goals.
* Become comfortable with silence - This doesn’t mean just not speaking; it means communicating attentiveness and respect while you’re silent.
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