Article Summary: To Handle Increased Stress, Build Your Resilience

Paraphrased summary of multiple articles, 20 Things You Need to Know about StressTo Handle Increased Stress, Build Your Resilience and Pressure Doesn’t Have to Turn into Stress

Pressure is not stress. It becomes stress when you add one ingredient: rumination, the tendency to keep rethinking past or future events, while attaching negative emotion to those thoughts.
Courtesy: The Oatmeal

"Rumination is recycling old thoughts about what went wrong. Reflection is looking for new insights on how to do better." - Adam Grant

The opposite of stress is not relaxation-it’s resilience.

What provokes stress: NUTS.
N is for Novelty: “This is something new you’ve not experienced before, like the first day of school or a new job.”
U is for Unpredictability: “When you don’t know how something is going to [take shape, as is the case during] a trip to the dentist.”
T is for Threat to the Ego: “When your competence is threatened, such as in front of colleagues. We’re very sensitive to this.”
S is for Sense of Control: “When you feel you have little or no control over the situation, like being stuck in traffic.”

Stress is contagious.

Strategies to handle stress:

Break out of rumination physically (stand or sit up, clap your hands, and move your body) or mentally (connect with your senses by noticing what you can hear, see, smell, taste, and feel).
- Breathe deeply - it’s possible to clear your bloodstream of cortisol — the most pernicious stress hormone (Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, Endorphins are good brain chemicals/hormones)
- Sing
- Exercise, Cycle, Walk,  Run up and down stairs
- Laugh
- Chew gum
- Reading
- Listen to music
- Have a cup of tea
- Meditate
- Pets
- Anything that improves self-esteem & reduces negative emotions - empathize, help someone

Our resilience needs are personal and are shaped by our unique history, personality, and professional/personal context. 

Identify areas you can control or influence in which you can take useful action -
“How close am I to the root causes or deci­sion makers in these circumstances?”
“Do I have the skills, information, resources, or relationships that enable me to change or influence this situation?”

Put things in perspective by trying three techniques:
Contrasting - comparing a past stress to the current one, i.e., a major illness versus a missed sale

Questioning -
“How much will this matter in three years’ time?”
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
“How would I survive it?”

Reframing -  looking at your challenge from a new angle:
“What’s an opportunity in this situation I haven’t yet seen?” instead of “Why me?”
“What’s funny about this situation?”
“How can I use the energy created by feeling stressed about this new job to better prepare for it?” “What can I learn from the stress about my increased workload that will help me better prioritize my time?”

Three techniques to let go -
Acceptance: Acknowledge that whether you like the situation or not, it is the way it is.

Learn the lesson: Your brain will review events until it feels you’ve gained something from them, so ask yourself, “What have I learned from this experience?”. A problem well-defined is a problem almost solved. Understand the root causes and possible ways to alleviate and avoid future stress.  For instance, did you grow up in a family or a culture where disagreement or conflict was avoided? If so, that’s likely to exacerbate your discomfort and stress when confrontational situations arise. Be aware of your habits and instinctual responses and possibly seek additional support to build skills to more comfortably navigate conflict. Ask yourself, “Am I, my team, or my business under strain from a greater trend that is also affecting others in my industry or in my community? If so, do I/we need to adapt plans and expectations? Are there others who provide good examples of what works in this new context or how to turn this into an opportunity?”

Action - Sometimes the real solution is not to relax, but to do something about your situation. Ask yourself, “What action is required here?”. By identifying actions you can take you’ll be able experiment with solutions and new behaviors and discover productive ways to handle challenges and stress. It might be something related to identifying or managing your emo­tions, or new interpersonal or technical skills. Analysis without action leads to rumination and anxiety.  By making conscious choices that help us build these skills, we’ll be better equipped to turn our stress and challenges into opportunities.


Resilience is also heavily enabled by strong relationships and networks. Cultivate and maintain authentic connections.

Broadening our network helps us develop dimensionality in our lives — a rich variety of relationships and connections that help us grow, that can provide perspective on our struggles, and that can offer us a stronger sense of purpose.

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